Hedz

Recurring gags

Russell Brand begins his sketch with the catchphrase "... if I tell a lie, let me beautiful barnet sprout forth!" and then tells a series of lies, causing his hair to grow abnormally large. After three lies he trips on his hair and falls, ending with "Betrayed by my own barnet! The shame!". Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp share a bath where they play, argue and talk; by the end Johnny somehow causes Orlando to get out, though Orlando sometimes gets his own back, such as throwing Johnny's paper hat into the bath to make it soggy and sink.

Simon Cowell sneaks into his shed and tells Cat Deeley (portrayed as a white cat) to "bring me the leaders of the free world!", whereupon Deeley presses a red button and George W. Bush, Condoleezza Rice, Queen Elizabeth II, Gordon Brown, Romano Prodi and Bob Geldof appear on H.Q.-like screens. Cowell then explains his "brilliant" plan, usually about global warming, and the leaders go wild at its flawlessness; midway, Deeley points out crucial flaws in subtitled meows that Cowell cannot understand, though he guesses she is positive.

At the end of his pitch he raises his hands and says "For I am a genius!", causing a button to loosen from his trousers so they fall down (revealing his boxer shorts) and he is sprayed with something related to his idea, making the leaders laugh. His shed bears a sign reading 'Simon's shed keep out', with the 'p' written backwards. Ant & Dec spot another celebrity duo from their tree house, saying "oh Ant, can you see out?", and set a trap with the line "there's only room for ONE celebrity duo in this forest!".

The trap fails, and Ant gets caught by it instead. Celebrity duos have included David and Victoria Beckham, Davina McCall and Dermot O'Leary, Barry and Paul Chuckle, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Arlene Phillips and Bruno Tonioli, and Kylie and Dannii Minogue.

Twists

The last episode of Hedz introduced twists for several sketches. The Rooney Twins go head to head with their rivals the Clooney Twins, and their feud ends with them becoming friends and having a tea party. Len Goodman gives Arlene Phillips and Bruno Tonioli a ten instead of the usual zero. Gordon Ramsay is seen looking after his 'son', a mini version of Ramsay tucked in a buggy; after being mad three times he explodes, and after crying three times his 'son' also explodes.

Jackie Chan makes a phone call to Arnie's Video shop and, instead of doing something wrong on himself, throws the phone away, accidentally hitting and smashing the camera lens. Ant & Dec almost manage to squash Mary-Kate and Ashley by lowering a ton on them, but the girls hold onto it and do workouts; Ant and Dec also hold on, and the girls let go, flattening both Ant and Dec. Beyoncé has a shake-off with her arch enemy J-Lo, who uses her bum for evil while Beyoncé uses hers for good; Beyoncé beats J-Lo and sends her away.

Jamie Oliver's vegetables finally escape his clutches by tricking him with cardboard cutouts and sailing away on a mini boat, travelling around the world to his dismay. The Flatner is unmasked by Ozzy and Sharon, revealing the villain to be Charlotte Church, who says she did it so there would be no more singers and she would be top of the charts.

Series 2

The second series of Hedz introduced several new characters and sketches alongside returning ones. In a Top Gear parody, Jeremy Clarkson reviews an ordinary household or office appliance as if it were a motor vehicle, while Richard Hammond despairs as the only one who can see sense; Hammond eventually summons The Stig to run down Clarkson and end his humiliating reports, and James May often appears wanting a turn on whatever Clarkson is reviewing.

Lord Alan Sugar hires a celebrity to be a substitute teacher but ends up firing them for doing something they were told not to do. In Ross Kemp Nature Trails, Ross Kemp attempts to show viewers how to use squirrels in day-to-day survival methods when lost in a forest, but his suggestions always disturb or endanger a squirrel, which then takes action against him and drags him away to parts unknown. The Police Fruit and Vegetable Unit features officers PC Gav Matthew Horne and PC Smithy James Corden trying to catch the elusive 'Fruit and Vegetable Thief' (secretly Jamie Oliver), who steals fruit and vegetables but always gives them the slip; later they have lunch at The Healthy Snacks Bar, where they compliment Jamie on the food he has made for them, claiming the ingredients came from somewhere when they were actually from the stolen produce, and Jamie lies about the thief's whereabouts, then giggles to the audience that they will never figure out who the thief really is.

Fearne and Holly's World Tour shows Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoughby on a world tour, but they are too busy on their phones to notice what is happening in the background, such as the Leaning Tower of Pisa taking off like a rocket. Lady Gaga starts out going for a walk until something falls on her head (like a seagull or a piano), causing her to cry, but Gok Wan appears to tell her she looks fabulous, making her feel better to the annoyance of the announcer; her 'new hat' often backfires, such as a 'seagull hat' flying with her attached to it. The Ant and Dec sketch returns, but their location has been changed from a forest to a caravan park.