Bachelorette party

Did You Know?

• The term stagette is occasionally used in Canada.
• A more traditional alternative is the bridesmaids luncheon, usually given the day before the wedding, where the bride thanks her attendants and presents each with a small gift.
• If a significant aspect of the party is presenting small gifts to the bride-to-be, the event is properly called a bridal shower.

History

Before referring to a pre-wedding party, hen party in the United States denoted any all-female gathering, typically held at a hostess's home. In 1897, The Deseret News described such a party as a time-honored idea centered on tea, chitchat, gossip, and smart hats. In 1940, Eleanor Roosevelt hosted a Christmas-time hen party for cabinet wives and ladies of the press. The bachelorette party consciously follows the centuries-old bachelor's party, historically a black tie dinner given by the bridegroom or his father shortly before the wedding. While honoring the bride-to-be with a party dates back centuries, certain American customs involving licentiousness may have begun during the sexual revolution of the 1960s. The practice was uncommon until at least the mid-1980s, and the first planning book appeared only in 1998. Those uncomfortable with modern debauchery often celebrate with a combined stag and doe party, which has grown increasingly popular. The phrase hen party mirrors stag party in referencing gender stereotypes. Since the 1980s, many parties labeled bachelorette parties involved sexual freedom displays, while those without such elements avoided the label; now the term covers a wide variety of parties. Bachelorette parties became especially popular around the turn of the 21st century and frequently appeared in news. In 2020, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, virtual hen parties via videotelephony apps like Zoom and Houseparty rose.

Entertainment

Entertainment choices depend on what organizers believe will please the guest of honor. Toasting the bride-to-be is common, but some parties center on drinking games. Since the 1980s, notions of drunken debauchery have persisted in some circles, though in America the event is increasingly seen as an opportunity for female bonding. Etiquette expert Peggy Post advises that entertainment should not embarrass, humiliate, or endanger the honoree or guests. Smaller parties with close friends and sisters may involve a night or weekend away, or private tours like wineries or art galleries. At a private venue, the party can take any form that honors the bride-to-be. Dinners and cocktail parties offer comfortable opportunities for talk and intimate advice. Other hostesses choose themed parties, such as pamper parties with spa treatments or cooking classes. In the 21st century, companies sell products for organizers, including themed games, pre-printed invitations, decorations, novelties, and sex toys. A common theme is male nudity or partial nudity; in North America, hiring a male stripper or attending a male strip club is common in some circles, while in the UK a naked butler has become popular. Life drawing parties with a nude male model may also be held.

Organization

Participants are typically all women, including bridesmaids, the bride's close friends, and often the bride's sisters. Mothers, aunts, and teenagers may be invited depending on the event's nature, at the discretion of the planner and bride-to-be. The party is usually hosted by one or more members of the wedding party, though any friend can host. Formally, the bride-to-be never hosts, though she may help plan. While a hostess normally pays for entertainment, it is common in most English-speaking countries for participants to share costs. Whether the bride-to-be pays her share or it is divided among others is determined early in planning. Participation is always optional, and many brides decline these parties. Neither bridesmaids nor other friends can be required to attend or pay. Derived from a formal dinner, the party is often held in the evening, usually about a week or at least a few days before the wedding, and typically includes dinner, though alternatives are not uncommon.

Location

Not every bachelorette party involves travel. Many are simple affairs held at someone’s home or a local restaurant. But for those who want a weekend away, certain cities have become go-to spots. In the US, bridal parties from the Southwest often head to Austin, while those in the Upper Midwest favor Nashville. These trips can cost hundreds per person. Others go further, to a place like Las Vegas. In the UK, budget-friendly European destinations such as Latvia and the Canary Islands are common choices. The main draw of traveling is the freedom to act differently without worrying about being seen by people from everyday life. When many bachelor and bachelorette groups flock to the same city, it can create jobs and support new businesses. But it also frustrates locals, who have to deal with noise, disruption, and the strain on public services from the seasonal wave of rowdy, drunk visitors. The disruption in Riga, Latvia, became so bad that the city created a special police unit just to handle bachelor and bachelorette parties.