Courtship
Period of couple familiarization before marriage or committed relationship.
Courtship is the period during which some couples become familiar with each other prior to a possible marriage or committed relationship. It traditionally may begin after a betrothal and conclude with the celebration of marriage, and can be informal and private or a formal arrangement with family approval. As a social practice, courtship is a relatively recent phenomenon, emerging only within the last few centuries, and is linked with institutions such as marriage and the family, which have changed rapidly due to advances in technology and medicine.
Historically, marriages in most societies were arranged by families for economic stability, political alliances, or legacy, rather than for love. Romance often occurred discreetly outside of marriage, as seen in medieval Europe where covert meetings between men and women were precursors to modern courtship. From around 1700, a movement toward individual empowerment and greater equality for women began reshaping relationships. As women gained political, financial, and social rights—such as the right to vote and own property—parental influence over marriage declined. In many Western societies, courtship evolved into a self-initiated activity where young people could choose their own partners, often meeting in public places like coffeehouses or going out as a couple under a chaperone’s watch. However, practices vary widely by nation, custom, religion, and social class; arranged marriages, dowries, and restrictions on same-sex pairings persist in many regions, and in parts of South Asia and the Middle East, being alone in public as a couple can lead to social ostracism. By the twentieth century, courtship became less strictly tied to marriage, sometimes treated as an end in itself or as a form of friendship. The rise of divorce made courtship possible at various life stages. Technology profoundly influenced the practice: telephones, cars, the Internet, and text messaging enabled rendezvous without face-to-face contact, while cars also allowed for back-seat exploration. The mid-twentieth-century advent of birth control and safer abortion procedures reduced the pressure to marry as a necessary outcome of courtship.
- field
- Sociology, Anthropology
- known_for
- Period of couple familiarization before marriage or committed relationship
- related_institutions
- Marriage, Family
- earliest_recorded_emergence
- Within the last few centuries
- typical_duration_UK
- 2 years 11 months (first meeting to proposal); 2 years 3 months (proposal to wedding)
Lore & Background
Historically, marriages in most societies were arranged by parents and older relatives with goals of legacy, economic stability, and political alliances, leaving little need for a courtship period. During much of recorded history and into the Middle Ages in Europe, marriages were seen as business arrangements, with romance occurring outside marriage discreetly. The 12th-century book *The Art of Courtly Love* advised that 'True love can have no place between husband and wife,' and clandestine meetings outside marriage are considered precursors to modern courtship. From around 1700, a movement toward individual empowerment and greater equality for women began, leading to political, financial, and social changes that reduced parental influence. By the early twentieth century, women in some nations gained the right to vote and own property, and courtship evolved into a ritual where young women entertained gentleman callers at home under a chaperone’s watch, later becoming a self-initiated activity in public. Courtship varies greatly by nation, custom, religion, technology, and social class; in many countries today, arranged marriages, dowries, and prohibitions on same-sex pairings persist. The 1849 book *The Whole Art of Polite Courtship* provided love letter samples to aid romantic correspondence, while etiquette books like the 1852 *Etiquette of Courtship and Matrimony* detailed proper conduct. In the twentieth century, courtship could be a precursor to marriage or an end in itself, aided by telephones, cars, and the internet, and influenced by birth control and safer abortion procedures.
Reader's Guide
Courtship's significance lies in its evolution from a largely absent practice in arranged-marriage societies to a central social ritual in many modern cultures. In the 20th century, courtship became sometimes seen as a precursor to marriage or as an end-in-itself, akin to friendship, and occurred at various life stages as divorce became more common. Rapidly developing technology—telephone, Internet, text messaging, and cars—expanded courtship possibilities, while birth control and safer abortion reduced pressure to marry for sexual reasons. Today, courtship continues to evolve with online courtship, and the institution of marriage is changing widely, with pair bonds formed without intention of reproduction and same-sex and transgender couples increasingly recognized. However, courtship varies considerably by nation, custom, religious upbringing, technology, and social class, and many countries still practice arranged marriages, request dowries, and forbid same-sex pairings.
Did You Know?
- The 12th-century book The Art of Courtly Love advised that 'True love can have no place between husband and wife'.
- In the United Kingdom, a poll found the average duration between first meeting and accepted proposal of marriage is 2 years and 11 months.
- In Japan, a type of courtship called Omiai involves parents hiring a matchmaker to provide pictures and résumés of potential mates.
- Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky placed humans in the middle of a reproductive spectrum between tournament species and pair bond arrangements.
More in Human Relationships And Life Stages 1-24
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