Back When We Were Grownups

Did You Know?

• The novel was adapted for a CBS Hallmark Hall of Fame production directed by Ron Underwood.
• The adaptation starred Blythe Danner, Peter Fonda, Jack Palance (in his final film), Faye Dunaway, Peter Riegert, Ione Skye, Anjul Nigam, and Jonathon Pickett.
• Blythe Danner received both Emmy Award and Golden Globe nominations for her performance in the adaptation.

Plot

The novel opens with the sentence, 'Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person. That woman is Rebecca Davitch, a 53-year-old widow, mother, grandmother, and proprietor of a party and catering business called Open Arms, run from her home. Until age 20, Rebecca's life followed a predictable path toward marriage to her high school sweetheart and a Ph.D. in history. Then she met Joe Davitch, a 33-year-old divorcee with three children, at a friend's party held at Open Arms. One month later, Rebecca quit college and married Joe, thereby marrying the Davitch family: Joe's three daughters, his mother, his brother Zeb, his huge old Baltimore house (Open Arms), and its business as a venue for celebrations. She soon became the de facto manager of Open Arms and mother to Joe's three girls and their own new baby daughter. Having cheerfully raised four daughters, run the celebrations business, and helped her daughters through six marriages, two divorces, and seven grandchildren, she now asks what happened to the 20-year-old serious scholar and politically-involved idealist she once was.

Reviews

Beth Kephart wrote that Tyler's fifteenth novel still offers wackiness, wit, sentences of shocking originality, and wisdom. Kephart found no flat lines, simple characters, or moments not tapped for their possibilities, with a party on almost every page and the party's aftermath. She called it storytelling at its best and most breathtaking, with Tyler living up to her well-earned reputation. Kephart noted that Tyler created a character brave enough to look back on her life and imagine different choices, and to wonder what honesty looks like and whether there is ever a single distillation of self that is unshakable and true. She praised Tyler's talent for spinning out characters readers care about, who go on living after their stories end. Publishers Weekly stated that Tyler has a gift for creating endearing characters, and found Rebecca particularly appealing because she bravely keeps on trying despite the blows she takes. The review also noted Tyler's gift for unfurling intricate stories effortlessly, as if by whimsy or accident, with breathtaking ease that is almost unnoticeable because Tyler never calls attention to what she does. Late in the novel, Rebecca observes that her younger self wanted to believe there were grander motivations in history than mere family and friends, mere domestic happenstance, and Tyler makes it plain that nothing could be more grand. Tom Shone observed that certainty about how things will turn out in a Tyler novel does not interfere with the desire to see them do so. He described her plots as the mere stuff of family albums—a procession of marriages, births, deaths—yet her feel for character is so keen that even readers who would happily fry the whole notion of character for breakfast become helpless gossips, swapping avid hunches about the characters' possible fates. He concluded that readers are involved before they notice they were paying attention.

Author's comments on novel and characters

Tyler said she plotted the novel just after emerging from a year of several losses and serious illnesses in her family, and wanted her next novel to be full of joy and celebration, which led to a main character who earned her living throwing parties. She noted that a sense of loss shows through anyway, proving that the subconscious always tends to triumph in the end. Tyler stated that Rebecca is no more astute than most people about her reasons for doing things, and that if people were fully conscious of their motives, novelists would not have anything to write about. She expressed fondness for the character Peter, liking his curiosity and active mind, and predicted he would grow up to be a very interesting young man. Tyler also said that someday Zeb and Rebecca are going to marry, and that the Davitches will be taken aback at first but will warm to the idea whole-heartedly once they have adjusted.