Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Plot

It's Christmas in the Griffin household, and the family is decorating the tree. Meg pulls out a manger ornament, prompting Peter to launch into his version of the Nativity story. In Peter's tale, Joseph (played by Peter himself) and his pal Robby (Brian) spot Mary (Lois) in their village. Joseph introduces himself, and they start dating. However, Joseph gets frustrated because Mary won't have sex with him. Mary insists she's meant for something special. Eventually, Mary reveals that an angel (Bruce) visited her, saying God has blessed her with a child. Joseph accepts this news.

The story pauses so the family can call Aunt Helen to wish her a merry Christmas. The call goes poorly, and Peter resumes his tale. On the road to Bethlehem, riding a mule played by Meg, Joseph expresses doubt about the baby. Meanwhile, three wise men—Glenn Quagmire, Cleveland Brown, and Joe Swanson—feel inspired to head to Bethlehem. They stop at King Herod's palace (Carter Pewterschmidt) for water and mention they're seeking the Messiah. Herod, wanting to keep his throne and win the affection of Jodie Foster (a nod to John Hinckley Jr.), decides to kill the child.

Mary and Joseph reach an inn, but the manager (Mort Goldman) turns them away. Mary goes into labor, and the manager offers them the stable. Mary considers names for the baby. The angel takes her list of suggestions up to God, who decides on "Jesus" after something the angel said. The wise men follow a light in the sky, arguing over whether it's an airplane. A doctor tells them about an earlier messiah who didn't work out. The wise men arrive with their gifts just as the savior is born. A drummer boy (Chris) joins them. King Herod shows up with his army and demands the child. Jesus (Stewie) transforms the manger into a fighter plane and wipes out Herod's troops.

After Peter finishes, a pregnant couple shows up at the door. Their car broke down, and they ask for help. Peter, convinced they're faking, brushes them off and threatens to call the police. When they keep pressing, Peter goes to grab his baseball bat.

Reception

The episode scored a 2.9 rating and drew 5.49 million viewers, ranking as the second most-watched program on Animation Domination that evening. It outperformed American Dad! and a repeat of The Simpsons, but fell short of another Simpsons repeat, which pulled in 5.54 million. Critical reception was divided. Kevin McFarland from The A.V. Club graded it a C, arguing that Family Guy typically comes across as bitter, malicious, and condescending toward people of faith, yet this installment was so weak and unfocused that it couldn't even summon its usual hostility toward religion.

Carter Dotson of TV Fanatic awarded three and a half stars out of five, suggesting the episode’s one-week delay after the Sandy Hook tragedy might have been due to a plot point involving King Herod’s soldiers trying to kill an infant, though he found little else offensive. Dotson also noted several awkward pauses and stalling tactics that could have been edits to remove other potentially insensitive material. He concluded, however, that Fox likely postponed the episode simply to avoid airing something crude immediately after such a tragedy, which he considered a sensible decision.